Hello 2019!
Another year, another attempt to get this blog come back to life. I have a really positive feeling that this time, I'll be able to really post something at least once a month.
So, let me start by looking back at how my 2018 went.
Last year has been, well, crazy. The first quarter of 2018 went by so fast. It was full of fun, new places that I got to visit, I allowed new people in my life and I did so many things for things for the first time. I was so grateful to have been part of the knowledge transfer project for the company that I was working for. After the business trip in Australia, I was able to travel to Cebu. Trekked for more than 4 hours. Jumped off waterfalls. It was just a magical quarter for me!
Second quarter, was the extreme opposite. All the happy thoughts, all the happy feelz that I collected for the first three months were nothing compared to what I had to go through in this next quarter. I had to drag myself to work. I almost couldn't feel hunger. I didn't even know how I had managed to sleep and still wake up everyday. This was also the quarter where I mustered the courage to swim in open sea without any life vest. Swam in an open sea but never felt so drowned and dead.
Towards the end of June, it was starting to look a bit more promising. I opened myself, my heart to a little furball. A furry friend who became my little soldier, my little ball of sunshine, my little best friend. It felt like everything was going for the better after he came. During the third quarter of 2018, it felt like everything was falling back into place. Work was, well, work. But my friends from work made it somehow enjoyable and most of time bearable. I built deeper relationship with some of the people around me. Everything was getting better. ate least that's what I thought..
Then, the last quarter came so fast. It was crazy. It was tiring but very fulfilling. It felt so good to know that I got to help my partner in the conceptualization and bringing a new project come to life! Unfortunately, I was doing pretty bad at work. Major attendance issue because more often than not, I was coming in late. I would sleep 11PM -- earliest and would wake up between 3:30AM -4:30 AM the next day. Eventually, I had to make a big decision. It was abrupt but I knew it was for the best. But just when I thought and hoped that it was all working how I imagined it to be, everything went downward spiral. It was just, again, crazy. Even crazier than what happened back in the second quarter of that year. I was just so mad, felt so alone a lot of times, felt so betrayed.
2018 made me realize that no matter how much you force for some things to happen or NOT to happen, there will be things that will be out of your control. People will betray you, people will hurt you. There will be people who would be brave and decent enough to accept & own up to their mistakes; but there would also be those who will continue to somehow believe in 'their own version of truths'.
I've also realized that truth has quite a number of versions. Your truth, their truth and the real truth. So how do you know which one is the accurate and right one? I don't know. But what I can tell you is, I listened to my feelings, I relied on the observations, I kept and analyze the physical proofs and looked at history and credibility. At the end of the day, the concerned people know what exactly happened. Just in case someone isn't able to identify which is the real truth, let it go. As long as your conscience is clear, you'll be vindicated at the right time.
I know that nobody is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, myself included. I know my misses, I am not denying the fact that whatever happened in my life, in our lives, I have my fare share in everything. Acceptance is the key, really.
And of course, just like what I have said soooo many time this year, learn to value and listen to your feelings. Your feelings are valid. do now let anyone say otherwise. It's your heart, your mind and your soul, no one should deprive you of feeling what you are feeling. Listen to your heart because it can only take so much. You can only take so much.
In all fairness to you, 2018, you've made me cry so much but you ended the best way possible. I wish it didn't have to end that way but I know that it all had to happen.
2018 was the year when I lost myself, found out and realized that friends are there for a reason (HAHA), found out that I can love a pet so much and realized that love is really a choice. A tough one at that. With the right person who's willing to work it out with you, you love will survive anything.
2019, I'm ready for you.
Then, the last quarter came so fast. It was crazy. It was tiring but very fulfilling. It felt so good to know that I got to help my partner in the conceptualization and bringing a new project come to life! Unfortunately, I was doing pretty bad at work. Major attendance issue because more often than not, I was coming in late. I would sleep 11PM -- earliest and would wake up between 3:30AM -4:30 AM the next day. Eventually, I had to make a big decision. It was abrupt but I knew it was for the best. But just when I thought and hoped that it was all working how I imagined it to be, everything went downward spiral. It was just, again, crazy. Even crazier than what happened back in the second quarter of that year. I was just so mad, felt so alone a lot of times, felt so betrayed.
2018 made me realize that no matter how much you force for some things to happen or NOT to happen, there will be things that will be out of your control. People will betray you, people will hurt you. There will be people who would be brave and decent enough to accept & own up to their mistakes; but there would also be those who will continue to somehow believe in 'their own version of truths'.
I've also realized that truth has quite a number of versions. Your truth, their truth and the real truth. So how do you know which one is the accurate and right one? I don't know. But what I can tell you is, I listened to my feelings, I relied on the observations, I kept and analyze the physical proofs and looked at history and credibility. At the end of the day, the concerned people know what exactly happened. Just in case someone isn't able to identify which is the real truth, let it go. As long as your conscience is clear, you'll be vindicated at the right time.
I know that nobody is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, myself included. I know my misses, I am not denying the fact that whatever happened in my life, in our lives, I have my fare share in everything. Acceptance is the key, really.
And of course, just like what I have said soooo many time this year, learn to value and listen to your feelings. Your feelings are valid. do now let anyone say otherwise. It's your heart, your mind and your soul, no one should deprive you of feeling what you are feeling. Listen to your heart because it can only take so much. You can only take so much.
In all fairness to you, 2018, you've made me cry so much but you ended the best way possible. I wish it didn't have to end that way but I know that it all had to happen.
2018 was the year when I lost myself, found out and realized that friends are there for a reason (HAHA), found out that I can love a pet so much and realized that love is really a choice. A tough one at that. With the right person who's willing to work it out with you, you love will survive anything.
2019, I'm ready for you.
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